Month: June 2016

Hair & Now!

Soooo after being bald for the better part of a year or so, my hair began to grow back! I was so excited!!! It is amazing how much you can feel like your old self again with eyebrows, eyelashes and hair!!! Lately, sadly, I seem to have forgotten how sad I was to be bald. You see my hair is growing and after chemo your hair is not quite itself. Different texture and colour. What I never thought about was the growing out process. Currently it is too short to cut and too long not to cut.  I have dubbed myself the Heat Miser! (it works because of the hair and the fact that I have crazy hot flashes and radiate heat like an oven) Does anyone remember The Year Without Santa Clause?? This is where I am at folks (I can’t believe I posted this lmao!) While so happy to have hair I cannot seem to feel a little sour at it right now. Even my ball cap struggles to contain it’s mammoth existence! I guess I will wait it out and hope the heat miser days end soon!

 

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Bucket List- a wake up call!

We should all be keeping a bucket list and crossing things off throughout our life’s journey! A working list, things added as others are accomplished. Don’t waste opportunities and adventure! It should not take a terminal diagnosis for one to start the list.

What I do find really annoying is movies and television!  TV and movies show people going on trips and buying things and doing things without a second thought to money. Most of us struggle day to day with bills etc never mind a last minute trip to Dubai with your closest friends and family. Fuck sakes! It is so unrealistic, drives me crazy.  People affected by a terminal illness have lost their careers and have taken on medical costs that eat away at savings. I can remember early on in this new story being so frustrated with wanting to do as much as I could in a very short time, feeling the pressure to DO because I may not have the time. My desire to experience unquenchable, yet not having access to an unlimited budget left me embittered. So I focused on small things I could do. Spent time with family and friends.  I walked (there will be a time we all can not do this simple task so effortlessly, just sayin’). I appreciated the simplest things, things we most take for granted. My heart, mind and soul open and ready! I have been beyond blessed with travel opportunities that I could never have experienced without the help of a few amazing family members and friends! Disney, New Orleans, Israel, Mexico!

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The thing is we only have a short time here while we are healthy, I always hear the same things, “It’s just not a good time.” “We just don’t have the money.” “I have to work.” “I can’t.” HEY! Yes you can! Wake up and live life! Make a plan and make it happen!  I am just saying, time waits for no man!!! Start doing people!! Once you start, you will not be able to stop! Do not end your journey with regret, such a sad ending that would be…

  • Read books you always wanted
  • Try food you never thought of
  • Paint something
  • Love
  • Make pasta
  • Conquer a fear
  • Volunteer your time for a good cause
  • Take a trip
  • Try something new
  • Take a walk on the wild side
  • Sing
  • Dance
  • Take a cooking class
  • Learn a new language
  • MAKE the time to talk and visit with family and friends
  • Take lots of pictures
  • Make memories

most of all just LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell me what you have crossed off your bucket list! I would love to know!

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What does cancer look like…

“But you look so good!”

“You don’t look sick!”

“I thought chemo would make you lose weight?!”

“Wow, I would never know you had cancer, you must be beating it!”

Most people have an automatic misconception of how a person with cancer should look. I was one of these people before my dx. You would be amazed at how many “normal looking” people are battling and fighting this disease and many other diseases. Aside from the bald during chemo, most of us remain ambiguously mingled in a crowd, our scars are hidden and we bravely simulate an “ordinary” appearance for ourselves and others in a veil of normalcy to get through a day.

Some of us have had mastectomies. A bald head under wigs or hats. Some have ports hidden under shirts. Some have to wear compression socks on arms legs etc to help battle lymph-edema. Some have had limbs removed or internal parts removed. Scars from surgeries. Colostomy bags. Hidden IV with meds being pumped through. Most hidden of all are the scars within us.

We, as people, are all carrying a weight of some sort, some are just heavier than others. No judgement should be made, no assumptions. I guess we should all remember, be kind to each other and love one another.