This crazy cancer…

So yes, it’s back baby! FUCK!

I know it has been a while and I apologize to those who are reading, following… caring.

While I held on so strongly to the belief that I could overcome this nasty disease, I was firmly put into my place,  cancer sharpened it’s teeth and bit down with a tyrannical grip to maintain it’s claim within my body.

So not only has it grown but it has mutated and grown resistant. I go for a biopsy on Thursday to see what it has turned itself into. If it turns out the way I hope it does not, there will not be much in the way of treatment except chemotherapy for the rest of my life, for the rest of my life!!!! I also read that when breast cancer becomes endocrine resistant it lessens the life span considerably, terrifying to say the least. Where does that leave me, wishing on a star and praying for a miracle. I have no idea what will happen over the next while, pray this next chemo works well for me friends!                                                                                                                                                                                         gord-downie-tragically-hip

So this is how I am, feeling, I remember seeing this live and my heart broke but I understood, understood his frustration, anger, sadness, feeling like a trapped animal without escape, without control of the next…I want to scream, I want to run away, run away from the pain, run away from this reality!!! I am so filled with fear as to what this next step means.

OK, rant over, feels good to let it out. I feel a little exposed and guilty for writing these things. Not a pity party just a good release!

Again, I promise to fight, fight and fight some more! I will keep you all updated, hopefully with better things than this.

Love to all xo

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11 thoughts on “This crazy cancer…

  1. Never give up hope Miss K!.. Goes without saying, sometimes it’s all we have, sometimes it’s all we need!?… I couldn’t forget U and your Family in my Prayers!,..Luv ya Sister!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ugh. I just want to kick cancers ass, I might need bigger boots though. Krista or pat if you guy’s need anything besides my thoughts please don’t hesitate to ask.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Krista don’t ever feel guilty for expressing your thoughts, fears, hates, loves, your pain, your sorrow, your dreams. All your emotions, feelings, wants, prayers. You Krista have every right, and I have read every word, over and over again, I cherish every word you write, you overwhelm me with your bravery, your honesty, your love, your caring, your compassion and your courage! You are at war! And you are a Mighty Brave Warrior! We all stand so tall beside you praying for you and cheering you on, wanting you to feel the love we exude for you! And for God to hear our prayers and to grant them for you. We are all praying that Thursday’s test results will bring a brighter glare of light and promise, sunshine to your heart and a smile to your beautiful face.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh my beautiful, brave and courageous sister. How my heart breaks. I’m scared, no truly frightened, for what will come of this biopsy. But I will be there, standing alongside you, as I will always be. I am so very proud of you, for the amazing and strong woman that you are. You truly are an inspiration to us all. Thank you for being so open and sharing those inner demons, staring that ugly fucking cancer right in the face. You are my hero, my person and I love you.

    Liked by 1 person

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