BYE BYE BOOBIE!

Next week I will have a mastectomy.
From the beginning of all this I have been told that surgery was not an option. Not an option because it was too late. Mastectomies are usually used to stop the cancer from spreading aka metastasize. I was not ready to hear this as an option and it has come out of nowhere! In the beginning, I would have gladly given up any part of my body if it meant I could beat this beast, but my mind is not in that place anymore and I am sad. I have struggled to come to terms with this surgery.

As I stare at the boob that betrayed me with it’s ever expanding tumor, dent and disappearing nipple, I tried to imagine what my chest will look like without it. I wont lie, I am terrified. Having my boobs has always brought me some sort of comfort with this disease. Cancer has already, and continues, to take so much and now I can add my breast to the list. I am gutted and shocked at this plan. I have cried, mourned the breast that I will lose. I was also told reconstruction was not an option for me, it will cause too many complications. So for the rest of my life I will be a lopsided scarred mess!

but, as of today, I am ready. Ready for the surgery and ready for the recovery. I have done research and found great comfort in finding out this may bring years to my life! This surgery may be able to finally let us get some control over this nasty cancer. Also, I am getting a much needed break from chemo! Ahhhhh… a month or so without taxol, I am most excited about this lol!

So there are a few positives and I will focus on those instead of the negatives! As for what is to become of my body, I will put it out of my mind for now and take one step at a time! Staying strong and positive until the bandages come off!

 

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6 thoughts on “BYE BYE BOOBIE!

  1. So happy to have met you Krista at the Blue Bay in Playa Del Carmen and only wish we had gotten together earlier in our time there. I have so much respect for how you’ve dealt with this journey you’ve been on these past years. I will be thinking of you as you go through this surgery but you’re a strong person that has great support with all your family and many great friends.

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    1. Thank you Carol! I am so glad to have met you as well! Maybe one day we will meet again in another beautiful place!! I am so lucky to have the support I have and everyday I give thanks for that, I could not have gotten through this without them all! xo

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  2. Girl friend, YOU are a strong force to be reckoned with! The beauty you have, it comes from within. No amount of amputations, scars or chemo can take that away❣️I’m sending you all my love; and all my positivity! Even though you seem to have the right frame of mind going through this crap already, I figure there can never be too much positivity and love in this world❣️I carry you in my thoughts, and I’m here,if ever you want to rant or chat. 😘💋

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  3. I read your blog post last week and have been thinking about you ever since, I didn’t know what to reply at first. I’m sure much like you didn’t know how to comprehend the news when you first heard it. My words to you are these…
    The epitome of magic personified
    Your heart billows with beauty as big as a giant Redwood tree
    A divine soul so perfectly rooted in strength and peace and grace
    No amount of stress can knock you down or shake your branches
    You will remain brilliant
    You will stay resilient
    A few leaves may be lost never to return, but the heart of its master will continue always to blossom.

    I’m here Krista, don’t forget 🙂
    xoxoxoxo tash

    Liked by 1 person

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