Progression

MBC is always progressing. Whether it be slow or fast, always forward this monster claws. Mine, once again has grown. For the past little while I have experienced pain in a few areas of my skull ( bruise like feeling),pressure, headaches, fatigue and nausea. So scans have revealed mets to the skull and liver.

Please don’t tell me to stay positive, I promise you I am being as positive as I can be!! Please do not tell me “I got this!” or “Everything will be OK!” Everything is not going to be OK. I feel the need to remind everyone, the end game of this disease is death. It has no cure. The only hope is to slow it’s growth.
My doc, the amazing Dr. Chang, has never been able to give a time frame even after years of me (annoyingly lol) constantly asking how much time I may have left. This changed last week and because I feel like I know him and a little on how his brain works, it scares the hell out of me. My life has basically been calculated to about 2 years. He has worked so hard to try and slow this cancer down. He is so smart and has so much knowledge. I think it has frustrated him that my cancer has eluded his plans of attack.

So I have vowed, once again, to fight fight fight for my life and plan on proving those stupid STAT’s wrong!

The plan for next week: a new chemotherapy called Xeloda and a biphosphonate injection Zometa. An MRI for the liver will also be done to check out the extent of the liver tumors.

Progression is not great news but it has been expected, sadly 😦   BUT, I am feeling pretty positive and surprisingly mind strong.

Love, live and laugh everyone!!! Much love xox

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7 thoughts on “Progression

  1. The news is truly devastating and I’m so scared, so scared for what you must go through and so scared at the thought of losing you. Trying to live in the here and now, and not project and worry about what the future holds, is so impossible. I am hopeful that this next course of treatment will slow this mother f’ing cancer down, and not be so debilitating for you; you are already so tired and in much pain, it breaks my heart.

    Your drive to keep fighting is unbelievable, you are so strong (even when you don’t think you are!). You have touched so many people’s lives and continue to do so, just by being you – you are an amazing mom, wife, sister, friend, daughter, cousin, niece, and the list goes on. Our lives are better just because you’re part of it. For me, you remind me every day that life is a gift and to stop putting things on hold, get out of my comfort zone and go with the flow (ok, I’m a bit uptight sometimes still, lol!). Because of you, over the years I have done things I would have never thought I could or would, even if it was just once (skydiving, knitting, being a passenger in a plane you were flying!, reiki, and again the list goes on). Your fly by the seat of your pants approach to life and go for your dreams attitude, inspires me to do the same. I love you. xoxo

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  2. How are you doing on the Xeloda? I had a crap reaction to Zometa so I’m on Faslodex. Xeloda was my initial chemo and send me a private email I was lucky to have responded quickly to it and was on a super HIGH dosage one week on and one week off. I stopped early and have kept the remainder.
    Watch those feet and hands – lots of cold bags of frozen peas or cherries and bag balm for cow udders.

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    1. Xeloda is doing pretty good so far! I feel better than when I was on Taxol. My first Zometa was really awful and I was terrified for the next one, but the next one was not as bad as the first ahhh! My skin feels good too thankfully!! Ths biggest SEs so far are really tired (of course) and a chrushing pain in my chest for a few days. My bone pain has also subsided a bit. All in all I am still filled with hope that this one will work, I need good news for a change. I hope Falsodex works well for you without all the shitty SEs

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  3. Faslodex, Zolodex, Xgva. Do you think they save the ends of the alphabet for us? As it goes I’ve not been able to get an appointment for six months or a PET scan for 11. Time for a change, I feel like hell this week. Nearly as bad as ever – the hospital when I was first diagnosed. I’ve been on this combo for 2 years, and the cancer gets smart enough to become an artist to paint my bones like fingernails on a chalkboard.

    Xeloda seems to be a longer term chemo these days so watch it and any changes at all. I honestly find the nurses in my infusion center more interested than my palliative onc or my onc. I’m probably going to move to Stanford cancer center in the next few weeks, Medicare insurance would be my only speed bump.

    Keep me posted let me know how you’re doing.

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